"It's funny how some distance makes everything seem small..."

During my junior year of college, I found an article and posted it to social media. I knew it was something a former boyfriend would find interesting. I think it was to my personal blog or something similar, not a list. If my ex read it or had a reaction, I never knew. I do know that his partner was incensed and posted about it on social media. They called me out for baiting my ex and doing it so obviously. I will own that I knew my ex might find what I posted interesting, but I also think it was a subject that interested me. I don’t recall forcing my ex to read it. I am pretty sure I didn’t tag him. 

Mostly I remember being frustrated because I felt like I had gone out of my way to stay the hell out of the person’s life. I knew their partner didn’t like me. I tried to respect that. Instead of appreciating what I had been doing, I was called out for posting an article some four bloody years after we broke up in my fucking space. (Or maybe I did post it to some group we were both on, but I seriously doubt it.)

Relationships suck when they are over. 

While I was in Disneyland, I was on the receiving end of something similar and I can say, it’s just as frustrating. My most recent ex, who has a name, posted something to the fair list. They posted an article about Disneyland's new Star Wars attraction and connected it to fair. 

In my opinion it is a biased article. I think the timing of the post was deliberate. I’m not sure what they were trying to accomplish, and that’s what is frustrating. 

My housemate noted that it's been weeks since my ex and I have engaged in any interaction; it was just a bid for attention. Negative attention is better than being ignored. I observed it is the one place where we can have any sort of communication, since their partner cannot read anything posted to a private group. 

I know, I know, I should Elsa this shit and Let It Go. 

Here is what is really funny (to me). I posted a comment. (Last time I checked, my comment had more positive reactions than the original post, so winning!) It was a pointed comment, but only people who know my ex and me very well would have understood the subtext. A few minutes later, my tarot blog was pinged. I have no idea what anyone expected to find, since why would I be doing tarot while on vacation? The ping looks like my ex checked, though.

My ex wrote me, "I don’t see a path forward for our friendship. Despite our efforts, the same patterns have persisted and show no signs of stopping. I think it is time to go our separate ways." (posted without permission)

My ex made that choice and wrote those words. Regardless of how I feel about it, I have respected that wish. I was not happy about it and I expressed that to my ex and what I think of his choice. I told my ex that the timing was wretched and cruel. But it doesn't matter, when one person declares a relationship ended, the other person just gets to suck it up and deal. I have done my level best to suck it up and deal.

But shouldn't that go both ways? 

A friend of mine has explained to me that even after a break up, there is only so much you can do to prevent the other person from looking in on you. The only thing to do is just ignore it. I get that in my head, but I am still boggled. 

It feels like the moment I am nearly free, the ex finds a way to pull me back. They aren't wrong, we are stuck in a pattern and it seems to be about a four week cycle. 

I don't linger where I am not wanted. I would appreciate the same courtesy, if you don't want me, then don't linger. So, I am posting this to get it off my chest, but also to make sure that four weeks from now, I don't get sucked in again.

The song was a pretty obvious one and I did just get back from Disneyland, so Elsa will sing me on out. 

Today's Song - Let It Go by Idina Menzel