"When you open up your mouth to speak could you be a little weak..."

A friend of mine described how she ends being the ‘mum’ in a lot of her romantic relationships. The relationships go swimmingly until she asks her partner to take responsibility for themselves and take care of her every now and again.

it was all I could do not to say “preach on sister!”

I don’t think I am in the position, although I have seen similar end results. I want to be the good girl. I will be the mom if that is expected, but mostly I just want to please my partner, my friend, my teacher, whomever and get a pat on the head. That's all well and good until I start asking for too much and my partner decides I am too high maintenance.

I don’t know how to ask for what I want. I do as I am asked and I want to be rewarded for it. I’m not service oriented, per say, although I can get into that space. I just want people to be happy with me.

As long as I keep that attitude, I am destined to be disappointed. I believe that It’s impossible to make people truly happy, at least in a way that feels satisfying to me. If I have any failings as a teacher, caring that the students like me and are happy with me would be it. Good teachers are respected and then liked, perhaps loved. I am well-liked, but I don’t always think I am respected.

I have been struggling a lot with the idea that I am not only allowed to ask for things I want, but that I should. I can decide a situation is unfair. I can remove myself from that situation. It might disappoint someone when I do that, but it is all right to take care of myself, even if it makes someone else unhappy.

I can’t force people to treat me fairly. Allowing someone to walk all over me might make people like me, but they won’t respect me.

I just have to keep telling myself this over the next few days as I go to Dickens fair and face some personal challenges. I can’t get angry at people for walking all over me if I lay down in front of them and ask them to do so. No one can push me out of an area or make me feel like I do not belong unless I allow them to.