“Go ahead with your own life leave me alone...”

I would like to start by stating that I am tired and feeling overwhelmed. I am also angry. I am frustrated and tired of it. 

“The blog, the blog, the blog!” That is all I heard during Christmas Fair rehearsals and so before I was asked, I made it so that only people who I had approved could see the damn thing. 

I had that damn blog bite me on the ass more than once. Something I wrote in it upset my daughter. Even though I didn’t name anyone, it was used against me by someone who accused me of lying. However, I think the thing that pissed me off was when DA tried to justify his girlfriend reading the entire thing as “getting to know me”. 

I have never met the damn woman.

At some point she blocked me on social media. Fine, whatever, it’s not like we were ever going to be friends. 

I found out yesterday that she has blocked me on LinkedIn. When I found out, I was amused. How petty and stupid. 

Today it bothers me. It bothers me because she works with a former colleague of mine. It bothers me because she works at a company where I have professional connections. It bothers me because blocking someone has certain connotations. It bothers me because I feel that it is impugning me professionally.  

I don’t care that I used to date her damn boyfriend. I don’t care that she is a petty child. I have done absolutely nothing to her. 

Now I want to.

I am not really angry at her. I am angry at having to deal with DA’s broken relationships. I didn’t get his ex-boyfriend removed from fair, from my group or any other social group. I did nothing to deserved getting harassed and stalked. I certainly didn’t do anything to be told that if I didn’t stop complaining, I could leave the damn fair. 

When DA started seeing his current girlfriend, I didn’t stalk her. I didn’t harass her. I didn’t do anything. When DA and I broke up, I left him alone, too. I haven’t seen him since he showed up at Peers in January. I haven’t spoken to him in over two months. 

I want to scream at him. I want to tell him that his fucking girlfriend doesn’t have to be connected to me on LinkedIn. He doesn’t have to be either. However, blocking someone on a professional job site carries certain implications. As a teacher in a high profile district, I don’t need this shit. 

I know that it won’t do any good. I know that I am just stirring up drama. I know that I am borrowing trouble. I know that I am tired, burned out and otherwise not in a good space. 

But mostly I am tired of being respectful of people and having it thrown in my face. I don’t care what you think of me as your boyfriend’s ex. However, Don’t. Fuck. With. My. Profession.

Go live your life and leave me alone. (Which is what inspired today’s song.)

Today’s Song - My Life by Billy Joel