"It's time to live in the scattered sun..."

I spoke with my mother. She wanted to rant and yell. I didn't let her. It wasn't a good talk, per say, but it was a productive one.

Someone stated that it doesn't matter why someone is stepping on your foot, the point is to simply get them off of your foot so it stops hurting. While it was spoken in terms of my mother, I have noticed it has wider application, at least in my life.

Boundaries are difficult for me. I am so scared of losing people and being abandoned that I will take a stupid amount of abuse. This incident with my mother just happened at a time when I needed a nudge.

I am not sure how to stop feeling like a fool or how to stop feeling exploited. But starting today I am going to clean up my mental house. I am not going to stay in relationships where I feel like I am getting the raw end of the deal. No more excuses, no more understanding, no more pretending that things will get better.

If you are standing on my foot, get off of it. Then we can discuss it, but as long as my foot's in pain, I don't give a damn what you have to tell me, because an apology or an empty promise doesn't fix my problem, it just makes it take longer to fix it.

Easy to say, now to see if it holds water.