"You keep losing when you oughta not bet..."

I remember that Lawyer Guy told me once that the way to walk away from someone was to simply walk away and not look back.

• No calls.
• No e-mail.
• No texts.
• Zero communication

Erase them from your life and if your brain insists on thinking about them, play a game of solitaire or something else mindless until your brain can move on to something else.

I have walked away, successfully, on a number of occasions. In fact, I did it to Lawyer Guy. I cut off communication and haven't spoken to him in over six months. Today is the first time, in a long time, that I have given him any thought and it was because of that specific piece of advice. (It isn't that he was the first person to tell it to me, just that he put it so succinctly and simply.)

Cutting off contact is something I do know how to do. I could (and probably should) do it to the person who hurt me.

I wrote the e-mail telling the person that I want them out of my life.  It's vicious. It's vitriolic. I meant every damn word. I stuck it in my drafts folder. It's probably one of those things that I should consider carefully before sending. I didn't want to. It would have felt so good to just send it off. I know it would cause the person some amount of pain and that thought makes me rather happy at the moment. So I guess I should add vengeful to the list of adjectives describing that e-mail.

The reason I am so angry, well one of the reasons, is that I feel that this person took away my agency. I would like to give them the benefit of the doubt and hear their side of the story. However, they have been unable (or unwilling) to tell me anything. My only choice is patience or walking away and I am fresh out of patience. I feel the only way I can have any control is to be the one who puts on the boots and starts walking.

But I guess my walkin' boots can wait until tomorrow. Until then, the song choice was glaringly obvious.