Feeling Powerless

I feel incredibly powerless right now. It sucks and I hate it. I know that's not terribly eloquent, but I don't know a better way to put it. Feeling powerless sucks.

I feel powerless at my job. I don't feel trusted as a professional. I don't feel like I have control over my work. I feel like I am not accomplishing anything.

I feel powerless in my marriage. I love my husband, but there are some issues that aren't getting addressed and I don't know how to fix them. I don't know how to communicate with him these days.

I feel powerless in my relationship with my family. I know that my mother is slipping, but I don't know how to fix it. She won't listen to me and if she moves out of her home, she loses it. I can't really afford to provide her with in home care. It's going to get worse before it gets better.

I feel powerless as a woman. A man harassed me, stalked me, and verbally abused me. I am defending my space while people tell me not to make such a big deal about it. In fact, I have been told to stop talking about him, because I am blowing things out of proportion. This shit has been going on for over two years. I have stayed out of his way, out of his social space and kept quiet about what happened. It didn't make things better, they got worse. He upped his game and lied to people about me to make himself seem like the victim. People didn't believe me. It took three other people speaking on my behalf for his behavior to be addressed and what was done was minimal.

I feel powerless in other relationships. I feel like my feelings don't matter. I don't mean just one person. I mean people who have asked me for things and then been angry at me for saying no. I don't mean to make anyone feel defensive. This isn't about a person asking me for a ride or to help them out. This is about emotional labor or consideration when I feel it isn't returned and feeling like I am the one who is at fault. (This is a common problem for Adult Children of Alcoholics and should not be taken personally by anyone.)

I feel powerless and I am really tired of it.

I don't have a song today. I couldn't find one that worked for me. So here's a quote instead:

“There is a central flaw in contemporary culture and a corresponding and related inability to address it. Society seems somehow unable to adequately help or protect itself. Normal citizens feel powerless, isolated and disturbed.” 
- Michael Leunig

There is a central flaw in contemporary culture and a corresponding and related inability to address it. Society seems somehow unable to adequately help or protect itself. Normal citizens feel powerless, isolated and disturbed. Michael Leunig
Read more at: https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/michael_leunig_6694