I wanted to go to a musical festival on Saturday. I got a late start, but I thought I would be ok. It was in the city, so a friend and I took Bart. I was all right on the train, but when we walked out of the station, things went awry.
One thing were the smells. Whether it was a good one or a bad one (and it seemed there were more bad ones) they were overwhelming. My friend and I got some food and I could barely eat. I tried to get past it, but I simply couldn't. I made it through about 45 minutes of the festival before I had to leave.
The best I can describe is to say that I couldn't filter anything. Every sound, every sight, every smell, even taste and touch was too much. I was so overwhelmed that I was crying before we even made it to the venue. I tried sitting in a park and breathing. I tried everything I could think of, but I was a mess.
When I got back to a safe space, I took an ativan and crashed. I was a little better the next day, but I was still really fragile. I still didn't eat much. I saw Wonder Woman, but while I enjoyed the movie, I was still really antsy.
I managed to sleep last night without taking any anti-anxiety medication. It makes me groggy in the morning and I didn't want to be late on the last full day of school. I seem to be doing better today, but after this past weekend, I am starting to realize how badly I need my medications. It will be a few more weeks to feel the full affects, but I am back on everything again. Now, if something goes wrong with my shoulder, I have a better therapy than medication that screws up my GI tract, because this sucked!
I heard today's song on the way into work. I believe I need start listening to Imagine Dragons, I haven't heard anything that hasn't resonated.
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