"I won't harm you or touch your defenses..."

I ran across an article (while looking for another one, isn't that the way?). The article is about what to do when a friend has depression. As someone who was diagnosed with depression when I was 13, I mostly agree with it.

I would like to add something to it. I think consistency is key. Routine is my saving grace. I wish I were better at it and it's something I am working on. I try to take my medications at the same time every day, eat on a regular schedule, sleep on a regular schedule, etc.

It was one of the big reasons I got my dog, Connie, to help enforce consistency. She still wants attention and care, regardless of how I am feeling. There are days when she was the only reason I got out of bed.

I am doing better, at least on most days. However, there are things which set me up for a depressive episode. Feeling overwhelmed is one of big ones. The other one is when, for some reason, plans are changed or can't be made in a timely fashion. I used to think of myself as very flexible, but either I never was or as I get older, I am simply less adaptable.

It is one of the things I appreciate about Ren Fair and Dickens Fair. They start at a certain time, they end at a certain time and while my day isn't exactly the same, there is a consistency I can rely upon.

One of the problems is when I make plans with someone and they are changed, regardless of the reason, it's a problem. I can take it when it happens from time to time, but when it becomes a consistent issue, it sets off my anxiety and my depression and it can be very difficult for me to bounce back.

My husband and I were going to see Coco today I wasn't hugely interested, but I was willing to go with him. He decided that he didn't want to after all. It was a small thing and I had other things I was trying to accomplish, so I rolled with it.

There have been other times when I have tried to schedule with a friend. Their life is complicated. Making plans with them can be troublesome. I have stopped trusting them with regards to scheduling. There have been enough instances where I've tried to make plans and them changed, canceled or simply forgotten that I have simply given up.

It all goes with the anxiety and depression. I know I can't live in a bubble where everything goes my way. I also know that I need consistency and while I hate to lose a good friend, I think I will only see them when stars align. I will just have to learn not worry about making plans with them.