Words and intentions are meaningless when I am in this state. It is action or nothing.
I have to remind myself that the rules are changed. Three days of elevated blood sugar because I couldn't feed myself isn't an inconvenience, it's over a week's worth of repercussions and there might be longer term ones. This past weekend affected my job, my health, and my interactions with the world.
I live in a home with three other adults. Due to a number of circumstances, there is no chore list, no set routines. Even though I have discussed my dietary needs on multiple occasions, I can't establish a routine in continued chaos. If things can't be fixed, then I have to consider moving out.
I have recently seen my psychiatrist. My depression is beyond straight medical intervention. I have a lot of my physical numbers stabilizing, which is a good thing. It makes it easier to narrow down what is wrong. I am well aware something is wrong.
If my requests for help are being met with silence or worse, I just need to walk away from those relationships. I simply don't have the resources to spare.
No comments:
Post a Comment