I didn't realize it at the time, because I never felt drunk. In fact the quantity of alcohol wasn't a great deal. I suppose this is a shiny addition to being diabetic, since alcohol lowers blood sugar. I take medication that regulates my glucose production. I didn't measure it last night, but I am going to guess that my blood sugar was pretty low by the time I went to bed.
First to check my privilege. I have health insurance. My medication co pay is very reasonable and my diabetes (so far) isn't that bad.
As to why I know I drank too much? Well the internet never forgets. Oh, don't go looking, you won't find twitter rants and I don't think my facebook entries were particularly unusual. But instantaneous communication isn't always a blessing.
I didn't say anything I didn't actually feel. I said it far harsher and nastier than I should have, but I believed it at the time and it's mostly true now. I could apologize to the person, but it would only be for the tone, not really for the content. That seems a fairly hollow apology. As a dear friend is fond of telling me, filters don't change the way you feel, they just make you more careful about how you express it.
So the snarky comment about texting, that was aimed at me. Yes, I feel someone was being an ass yesterday, but all I had to do was close my texting window. I didn't. I do regret that. Texting was clearly not working and I lacked the judgement to just put my phone down.
However that's another reason to forego the apology. It would have to be in text and experience tells me that whether it be e-mail, text, or written letter, the apology will be taken the wrong way and not make things better.
So today I am going to put my head down into my work and try not to feel too much. Today, I will try to leave my phone in my bag and ignore it. (Okay, not really, it's my phone and it has all my music. But I'll try to leave the virtual world to itself today. In fact today's song is the first one my phone served up.)
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