There is not much to report. I am in pain. Keto is being an obtuse male and I really don't have the energy to explain to him what to differently. Rope Guy has been ill and it hit him very hard. My husband is working a lot and dealing with me. Kenneth (my husband) is trying to move his trip to China or cancel it all together in light of my health issues, so he is not being an obtuse male, something I appreciate very much. He is still working too hard.
I am not going to have much of a 4th of July. I am going into surgery on July 3rd. It's an out-patient procedure, so I have no idea how functional I will be for that weekend. I am just assuming that it's going to be a repeat of Memorial Day and every other weekend since early May. I am so tired of not doing anything and canceling the things I want to do. However the timing worked and I am hoping that the surgery will address at least some of my pain issues.
I planned this summer to be busy and productive, so I could reset some thought patterns and ideas. Instead I am spending way too much time in my own head. It is not healthy.
I am trying to keep busy. I am mostly able to keep my mind on my work, my hobbies, or on games I am playing. However, if the early hours, when I can't sleep, I go to some very dark places. I don't like them.
I just want to get better or at least have things to do to improve. I am so fucking tired of being in pain all the time. I am tired of feeling broken and worthless.
Today's song started playing in my head while I was writing this, so I am sharing it with you. You're welcome.
Today's Song - In the Dark of the Night from the movie "Anastasia"
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