I was 19 when my paternal grandmother died of ovarian cancer. However, I didn’t really know what was happening.
I remember the second time, when it was my maternal grandmother. The unexplained pain, weeks of doctor visits and tests, and then finding out it was cancer. I was 23 when my maternal grandmother passed away due to the same type of ovarian cancer.
I saw her go through every stage. I foolishly looked up ovarian and renal cell cancer last night. I understand the tests that been have ordered. I know I’m at risk. I’m scared. When I shared my fears, the few people I told were quick to tell me it’s unlikely. They are probably right. I’m just worrying over nothing. It wouldn’t be the first time. I know medical science has come a long way since both of my grandmothers died.
I know that my health issues are likely something really benign, albeit painful. But this has been going on for over a month and still no answers. I dwell in the valley of worst case scenarios, and this past month has provided a lot of fodder for the brain weasels that live there.
I’m just scared, in pain, and tired. So what better song for today?
Today's Song: Don't Fear the Reaper by Blue Oyster Cult
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