I was reminded of why I consider fair a home and so many of these people my family. I think what really made me feel special were the people who aren’t Facebook friends, who can’t read the blog and yet who told me that I had been missed.
My Facebook friends and blog friends were extra supportive and got me through a rough patch this afternoon.
The one downside is that DA’s mother is visiting. She was at fair today and dropped by my usual haunt to say hello. I rather like DA’s mum. What I didn’t appreciate is that DA couldn’t be bothered to let me know to expect her. So, I saw her while I was on stage.
What upset me is that I told her straight out that her son and I hadn’t really spoken to each other in nearly a year by his choice. DA’s mom retorted that he had said that I was the one who cut off contact.
What. The. Fuck?
DA and I never told his mom we were dating. I understand that she doesn’t see this as a break up. However, that’s not my problem. My family did not drop in on DA when they were at fair. It is a break up and a nasty one. DA has insisted on no contact, he can bloody well explain that to his mother.
As one of my friends said, why would I expect that narcissistic fucker to be considerate?
I confronted him. Yes, I confronted him backstage. He tried to make excuses for his mother’s behavior. I told him he could have given me a heads up. I don’t think I spoke for too long and I made sure to walk away. I didn’t engage after that. I sent a telegram and an email reiterating my point. Did I need to, no. But I was not going to let this go unmentioned.
As for my anger, I just let it be. I said to myself, hey look, there’s my anger. It’s understandable and acceptable. If our positions had been reversed...well they should not have been. Actors don’t fuck with each other, they give each other support. DA was wrong, he broke his own rules after I spent the past eight weeks respecting his request for zero contact. There is no excuse.
One of my friends, who has dealt with my DA issues for far too long, suggested that I just let it go. I will never get through to DA.
I agree that I will never get through to DA. He doesn’t think his shit stinks, much less his actions. However, I have documented the event to him and my director. This is not the first email about his parents dropping in on me sans warning. If DA does fair next year, then I have an electronic paper trail that I requested a reasonable boundary which he ignored for two years running.
I hope that a year from now that such evidence won’t be necessary. I don’t understand why he didn’t just tell me his mum was visiting and wanted to say hi. It would have been simpler. I don’t mind seeing his parents, just give me a bloody heads up!
In fact, I am a horrid and petty person. I hope that it grinds DA’s girlfriend’s gears that his mother wanted to say hello to his “toxic ex”.
One more day of fair, I’m still deciding if I can go. I am glad that I have such supportive friends, I know I’ll be cared for. But yesterday took a lot out of me.
I wrote this late, so the song is what was in my head.
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