"Somewhere just beyond my reach There's someone reaching back for me..."

What needs are appropriate to ask to have met? I asked my therapist about this a few days ago and she was frustratingly vague. She said that all needs are appropriate. Not everyone can meet your needs, but that's acceptable. However, if someone is consistently not meeting your needs, you let them pass from your life.

I thought I spoke English. I recognize all the individual words in the concept above, but I don't understand the overall gist of what she said. Wait, I can expect my needs to be met? What? If someone doesn't meet my needs, I can stop putting energy into them? What? When did I miss that memo?

A few days ago I felt that my needs were not getting met, that I had asked and was told no. A friend commented "You asked for what you needed. Someone didn't help. That isn't your fault, that is someone in your life who maybe shouldn't be."

I keep thinking that I am wrong for what I am asking. I keep thinking that I am asking for too much. I think that perhaps I am not being clear. I keep making excuses. Yesterday, I didn't care. I have been in pain and I felt my needs were being set aside, so I pushed back.

It wasn't my intention to end the relationship. However, I believe I did or at least put in on a hiatus. I didn't say "You aren't meeting my needs, go away." I said, "I am not sure what to do going forward, but I don't have to figure it out when I feel this angry and resentful. I don't have to spend time with you and so that's what I am doing."

The person hasn't responded and I guess there isn't much for them to say. There is a part of me that wants to try discussing it again, but one of the needs that hasn't been met has been sufficient time to have these conversations. There is always something or someone more important and we never get to a firm resolution. I know I made my choice in pain and anger. I am not sure if it's the right one, but at least I can start letting it go.

I still don't know what needs are appropriate or which ones I can reasonably expect to have met. Hell, I don't even know what I really need as opposed to what I want. I suppose I need to figure that out. Mostly I just feel abandoned and alone and it's a horrible feeling. If there was any need I would like to have met, I need to feel like I was a priority to someone and at the moment, I don't.

I am worried that maybe I just want some white knight to rescue me. I know how badly that can go. But I am so tired of relying on myself and feeling so alone. I just want to be taken care of, just for a little while. I am going to let today's song dream big for me, even if I can't.