"I should be the one behind the wheel..."

Today I get to discuss changing environments. In order to change my thinking, I need to consider what things I can do differently. Dwelling on what was only exacerbates the bad thinking (so I'm told) so I have to consider what is (which I've done exhaustively) and what I can do going forward.

Dancing: I love to dance, I should never give it up. I allowed feeling responsible for somebody's emotions keep me from events I enjoyed. That has to stop. That said, I see no reason to put myself into situations where I have to deal with my feelings if they will interfere with my enjoyment. So, I will stick to dance venues that are not commonly frequented by my ex and his *ahem* friend. While I plan to attend some dance weekends, I believe I will skip the one I have attended with my ex.

I will work on my feelings so that I can attend dance events and work through my emotions, even if there are feelings or other distractions from enjoying dance.

Cycling: The rain and cycling alone is a bit of a downer. I think I will see about finding a spin class. While the exercise is different, it will put me on to a regular schedule and give my exercise regimen some structure.

Routines: I am not sure what to do about this one. I think this is going to take restructuring my perspective. I don't think finding someone to text with during the day like I did with my ex is a useful solution. I think I need to find better ways of connecting with people. Not that texting is a bad thing, but I don't want to have one person be my constant texting companion throughout the day. I think that I will instead find various ways of communicating throughout the day. One place to emphasize is making time to see my colleagues. I am avoiding them and I shouldn't. I will work on my feelings so that I can feel more comfortable spending time with my co-workers.

Focus:  I am blessed with some wonderful caring people in my life. It's easy for me to get caught up in what I don't have instead of seeing what I do have. If I feel like I have no friends, I only have to look for evidence to the contrary and it is readily available. Yes, one person chose to absent themselves from my life. It all right if I am pining, that's just part of the grieving process (as a friend kindly reminded me), but I can focus on the people who care about me instead of wasting energy on someone who isn't available.

So that's the overall plan. Now I just have to break it down into manageable parts.