My social anxiety needs to kiss my lily white ass.
I just keep reminding myself the way that Rope Guy puts it, my anxiety is just my brain trying to protect me from getting hurt. I could do without the anxiety dreams I have been having, but my brain is doing what it thinks is best. The dreams usually involve my ex and I communicating. I know that he would prefer to ignore me and probably will. I am not sure what's worse, being ignored or hoping I won't be.
I wish I hadn't told LT I would get his ticket tomorrow so that he could "maybe" use it. He got some bad news today and the suggestion just spilled out. I was joking that the solution I offer for all problems during this season is to stop by fair and have gin. He doesn't drink, but he did like the idea of seeing the fair. I am afraid that I'll spend the morning waiting only for him to be unable to make it. (The planned visit isn't until early December.)
I suppose I could do my usual on my blog and rant on and on about this, but there's not much new to say. I want to enjoy this coming weekend; if I think too much, I could have myself wrapped in knots.
So, I am going to bring my rope, my knitting, maybe some crochet and keep myself calm by tying things (and perhaps people) in knots. Maybe I will even take my anxiety medication. (I don't like taking it unless I am close to panic, because the crash is sometimes as bad as the anxiety.)
Since it's a simple and relatively short entry, I will fall back on the simple, yet powerful lyrics of Tom Petty for the song for this entry. I will hold my own space, despite who else does or does not inhabit it.
Today's Song - I Won't Back Down by Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers
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