Rope Guy (because look at how creative I can be at naming people) is someone who found me on Fetlife over a year ago. We ran into each other at a munch a few months ago. As I may have mentioned, we have some things in common with regards to our personal situations. We seem to have hit it off and decided to see where things develop.
Keto and RG met each other at a munch that I had to miss. They had a good moment when they realized they are both involved with me. Keto and I have had a number of discussions about what being poly is and I think that he’s more comfortable with me and the fact that I am a slut (an ethical one in the most positive sense of the term). RG is married, but he and his wife are still figuring out their poly comfort levels. There is probably an entry about being poly coming down the pike sooner than later.
RG did the introductory class with someone else. His partner found that it wasn’t to their taste so RG asked me if I would join him for the second series of classes. These are specifically Shibari classes. I figured that I was curious enough that I would at least give it a try. I am so glad that I did. It was a transcendent experience. I have seen people get tied up before, but I have never seen it like the instructors did it.
I never thought of rope play being akin to dancing, but now that I think of it, the parallel is obvious. There is a lead and a follow (the rigger and the rope bottom). The rigger leads the movements. The bottom has to trust their partner to lead them through the movements and navigate the choreography demanded by the rope and the tie that is intended. The rigger moved in time to the music and it was a gorgeous and intimate thing to see. I am not sure how to describe the beauty of watching them perform.
After watching the instructors, RG and I tried to do the full Ebi tie. I did not realize it, but I started Pilates so that I could handle being in ropes. The way that the shoulders need to be is similar to how shoulders are positioned for a number of the exercises I have been doing. The fold in the middle is something I have been working toward as well. It took a little finessing, but within a few minutes, I was fully folded into the tie.
The instructor suggested that we use blindfolds (which we knew before walking in). I agreed to the blindfold. I don't like to wear my glasses when I play, so I can't see. I usually close my eyes during play anyway, so seeing during a scene isn't usually important to me.
The instructor complimented us on the connection and the fact that we adjusted and adapted as we learned what I was able to handle. She was aware that I was new, so that made the compliment really feel good.
I do not know how to describe what being tied up was like. Meditation has been recommended to me for years and I don't like doing it. It's hard and I don't see the point. In rope, I get it. It's not that I suddenly went to a quiet space and discovered the secrets of the universe. I kept having to drag myself back to the moment, but since there was something to focus on (the way I was tied and the connection to my partner) I was able get closer to a meditative state than I ever had before. My body was ready to come out of the tie long before my mind was. I carried that peaceful space with me well into the next day. The feeling of being truly centered was very powerful.
The next class is not for a few weeks (it only meets once a month). However, RG suggested we plan to meet up to play again. He told me that tying me up was as satisfying for him as it was for me. He is a good partner. I found him to be very intuitive and we seem to share a similar rhythm.
I am learning so much about the language of touch. I don't know if I am more aware of it or if Keto and RG are better at working with my limited vocabulary, but either way, the rope helps me realize how touch is a nuanced style of communication. I still don't "speak" touch with a lot of fluency, but I am starting to understand it better. (If I haven't said, Keto, KzF and Rope Guy are all riggers with varying levels of skill, so rope play is on the menu.)
I know I am not doing my first shibari experience justice. All I can say is that it felt like dancing and RG is an excellent lead.
Today's song is an oldie, but seemed very appropriate.
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