"I wrap my fear around me like a blanket..."

My self perspective just changed in a very significant way. I am not HSV2+. I do have herpes, but it is the HSV1 strain, not HSV2. I was getting a STI panel and my doctor included the herpes blood test. I wasn't surprised (although pleased) to find everything is negative as expected. However, I was astonished to find out that I had been wrong about my infection all these years. I have always been asymptomatic, but to find out that it's because I am don't have the strain I had always assumed is coming as a bit of a shock. (When I was diagnosed, the test was different and less precise than it is now.)

In medical terms and in practical terms, it is a fairly minor difference. I would use the same protection with any intimate partner. However, researchers "found that the prevalence of HSV-1 and HSV-2 was 47.8% and 11.9%, respectively, during 2015 to 2016." (This was for people between 14-49 in the US). It is far more common to be positive for HSV1. I am going to have to do research and reconsider how much I want to disclose if I am using safer sex practices.

I  will speak with my current and former partners (recent ones) and let them know as a courtesy. One of the people I should speak to is on vacation so I will wait until they return to let them know. I don't believe the news is worth interrupting them while they are away. I am only saying something here in case they happen to read my blog and wonder why they haven't heard from me. (It is only a small concern, because. again, they are on vacation). 

The other thing is that I have just had a bunch of tests run and apparently I am not as old as I thought. The issues I thought indicated the beginnings of menopause were related to medical issues that have been addressed by better medication, diet, exercise and a reduction in stress. My body gleefully reminded me today that I am still quite female. My Friday plans have been put on hold for practical reasons, since attending the *ahem* party while being on my period is not conducive to enjoying myself.

I don't know how to process all of this. It's all good news (albeit somewhat inconvenient). I don't know how to explain that finding out that I am HSV1+ and am still fertile changes everything about how I think. I do not know how this will change my actions.

My phone served up today's song and I can't think of one more apt. So today is brought to you by the Indigo Girls.  (The fact that this song was recorded in 1988 is something I won't dwell on.)