"I’m just fine 걱정 마"

I am not a big believer in Tarot or in Astrology, until I believe in it. If I build someone's astrological chart, I can do a fairly good reading and sometimes I can even make some decent predictions. I can also do fairly well with Tarot. I don't have the skills that others do, but I have my flashes of intuition.  However, I am nothing compared to the reader who explained to me that wherever I go, I create home. I create safe spaces where people can relax and be themselves. I was also reminded that there are times when the universe will tap me on the shoulder and put me on call.

I am not interested in or looking for a relationship. In regards to Keto, I thought I was gaining a spanking buddy. It was after our first play session that I realized that anything more with Keto was going to involve an emotional connection. I think that he needs home. He just doesn't want it to live with him.

Upon arrival, I had to take the lead in our conversation. You, nobody asked you! pbbbbtttt!

I quickly learned that the best thing to do is to get Keto involved in a task. So we discussed some ongoing projects he has going on or that he wants to start. (He has a teak bench that we discussed stripping and refinishing.) Keto then asked me to help him do some tasks that were easier done by two hands and that is how we spent much of the afternoon.

We also discussed what happened (and didn't happen) at the party at his place a couple of weeks before. He told me that he regretted not inviting me to join him in his bed that night, but he wasn't sure how to do so or if I would be offended. You see, I must have wanted to sleep in my tent, because I brought camping gear. *head desk* The first thing he asked me when I arrived is if I would like to join him in his bed after the party. I said sure, I would be delighted

After the party, we went to his bed. I won't go into the details (because privacy). I will say that it was important to Keto that we share affection and that is what we prioritized. That is what has made this so difficult. I know that I am not ready to get emotionally involved with someone. I am still working through my frustrations with DA. Sex would have been easy. Affection was challenging and showing myself to another person after the shredding my emotions have taken was not something I was ready for. That's why I needed all the processing. The timing could be much better.

Well, the timing is what it is. As my grandmother was fond of telling me, if things always happened according to plan, nobody would fall in love, get married, or have children. Sometime God moves us along when he is impatient with all the overthinking we are doing.

I explained about my fair schedule to Keto. I am putting aside as much free time as I am able, but it isn't much. I am not sure how much I will be able to see him until the end of the year. I don't think the infrequency of visits is going to be difficult for him. What I do foresee as a potential problem is that he has never been in a poly relationship before.

Keto assured me that he is familiar with the concept of ethical non-mongamy. The majority of the people in our social group are one flavor of poly or another, including his two closest friends. However, I still had to walk him through the basic questions and concerns about how my partner would feel about me seeing someone else. I also had to go through the current roster of who I am seeing.

I have a roster? How the hell did that happen?

Rachel's Kinky Mouseketeer Roll Call:

• Little Miss from Mass,  (who writes the best e-mail)
• KzF, 
• my gal Jezzie, 
• a spanko that I am taking a shibari class with, 
• Tas (from SoCal), 
• GArt (who I met back in June), 
• Double Trouble (they are a set)
• and Keto.

But wait, there's more.

There is a fellow in SF that just chatted me up and we have a lot in common both professionally and personally. I also got an invitation from someone else who I met at the party last Saturday. They would like to get to know me better and asked me to meet up with them at the munch I often attend.

Whatever I might think I am feeling, it seems the universe has its own ideas of what I will be doing.

So, thanks to Jimmy Fallon and through influence of my students, my song today is in Korean, but the group BTS.