When I was at his place in July, he and I struck up a conversation about the Ketogenic diet and the strange combinations that one ends up eating. Keto follows the diet very strictly and has lost about 60 lbs. in the past two years. He was diagnosed as a type 2 diabetic and his doctor suggested Keto to keep him off of insulin as long as possible. I follow a modified Keto diet for a number of reasons: my weight is relatively healthy and stable, my A1c has decreased over the past 20 months, and because I am of the opinion that moderation is the key to my healthy eating.
That's the thing about Keto, he is a hardware engineer and I believe it colors the way he perceives the world. My impression of him is that he is introverted, shy, and somewhat taciturn. (When I found things that interested him, he could be quite effusive.)
You, stop laughing! Yes, you, I can hear you. I do not have a type! Just because he is an engineer, wears glasses and is a nerd doesn't mean anything. You can't swing a dead cat without hitting one of them around here. All right, fine, I do like the shy ones, although only heaven knows why. Happy now? *Humph*
All right, so all of that background is to establish that Keto is not known for reaching out to people. I have seen him in social situations and he tends to stay in the corner and talk to a couple of people, usually the other engineer types in our circle.
*glares at you* You know, I can hear you. Anyway....
When he returned from his trip, Keto sent me an e-mail making sure that I knew that I was invited to the next Kamp Kink which is what that particular camping event is called. That's why I needed a tent and other camping accoutrements. I went to Pilates, did a bit of computer work on Saturday morning, and then packed up my stuff and left in the early afternoon.
I have been part of this group for a few months. I would say that I am the average age of the group, but there are people who are younger and older. They're poly, kinky, and some of them have been part of this group for upwards of 20 or more years. This group has a vetting process although most people who don't fit seem to self-select out of the group. That said, this group seems to be good about bringing in new blood. So far, I have found it to be a good mix of people.
I had no expectations going to the party. While many of the parties feature a lot of play in the provided spaces, it seems that people go to "Kamp Kink" to hang out around the fire, talk, and eat the tasty potluck food and BBQ. I didn't expect to play since I am relatively new and haven't been willing to ask anyone. When I arrived sat myself down next to Keto, pulled out some knitting and chatted him up as well as the other people near me in the fire circle. Our interactions were fairly low-key except one point when Keto told me that the last woman he saw knitting got herself tied up. I noted that I would make sure to continue knitting in his general direction, much to the amusement of the people around us.
I didn't think too much of it. It was just flirting, right? I wasn't there just to see Keto. I got to know a woman who is in a similar situation to me. Her husband isn't part of the scene, but allows her latitude in her play and playmates. I made sure to get her information before I left, we both agreed that we need to talk more.
As the evening progressed, Keto mentioned making kebabs (Ketogenic Kebabs, naturally) and I offered to help. As we were skewering meat, onions and peppers in the kitchen, he casually mentioned that he would be putting on his leather chaps later (when it cooled off) so that I would have a nice leather surface to lie on while he administered my spanking.
I would like to note that I did not drop anything or stab myself with a sharp metal implement. Remember the part where I said he was taciturn and shy? Yeah, you could have blown me over with a feather at that point. Yes, I was stunned to silence.
You, just shut it!
I managed to nod and smile. I may have said something. Then we set about the task of grilling the kebabs and then eating them. The evening mellowed and nothing more was said. However, when it was cool, Keto asked me, in front of the entire circle, to join him in one of the play spaces, I managed to get up and go without falling over or otherwise making an ass of myself.
I would like to take a moment to tangent on a couple of points. One, I have been doing Pilates for about a month now. I have noticed some nice changes, my collar bones are starting to stand out and I believe my posture is improving. However, I got to see the full impact of how much more flexible I am during and after our scene and then later in . The other thing is that I have been trying to get more comfortable showing off my body. It helps that between the weight loss and more exercise, I am much happier with how I look. In fact, I have been tucking in my shirts and wearing tighter clothing (where appropriate, of course; at work I am just aiming for tailored.) So, I was wearing a pair of leggings that are open in the back with cross hatches.
After some awkward negotiation, I placed myself in his lap. Keto's style is much different than KzF or others I have played with. One thing is that he didn't talk at all. That would usually drive me crazy, I get so distracted when I am left in my head. I began realizing that he was communicating with me and rather eloquently. Touch is not a language I am very familiar with. I usually require at least some translation from my partner. For the first time that I can recall, I understood touch. Keto, in his very methodical engineer way, managed to spank me in such a way that he made my skin sensitive to touch from ankle to ass. He then he proceeded to exploit that sensitivity to his fullest advantage.
Without him speaking a word, I knew he was fascinated my the musculature of my legs, the texture of my leggings, the sweep of my hips, and he enjoyed my reactions. It was absolutely fascinating, because I rarely understand touch like a conversation. It was delightful. The scene stopped being about a spanking and all about touch and that was... exquisite. After a while (I lost all track of time), Keto ended the scene and somewhere I found the courage to pull myself up and straddle him. He seemed delighted and we chatted and there was some affectionate touch. It didn't go farther than that.
Remember the Pilates thing? I was able to hold myself in the straddle for a long time and it felt really good. I could feel my quad muscles activating and that was a sensation unto itself. The best (social) part occurred when I eased myself off of Keto's lap to sit next to him. A good friend of his asked me what I was doing off of his lap. She's a Domme, so she *ahem* nudged me back on to his lap. I think I started basking in the feeling of approval at that point. (His friend is also in charge of vetting members, so that was a nice feather.)
Regrettably, things were awkward after that. I wasn't sure how aggressive to be and Keto didn't do any follow up. I thought maybe I had done something wrong, but I am starting to believe that it's because Keto is a lot shyer and a lot less experienced that I would assume for a man who is older than me. Thinking over the way he touched me, I wonder how long it has been since he was invited and encouraged to touch someone freely. I got the impression from the friend who brought me into the group that if he has had any partners, it was a while ago. She couldn't think of anyone recent.
I didn't want to push too hard, so I kept to hugs and I tried not to puppy dog him too much. Later in the evening, Keto made us both some amazing Chai. He didn't ignore me, but he seemed distant. I am worried he thought I wasn't interested. Bah! I hate not knowing.
I went to my own tent and spent the night fairly comfortably. The next morning, he fed me bacon and egg white crepes filled with cheese (so tasty). I also helped him with a couple of chores before packing up to go.
I haven't heard from him since. I don't know if I should contact him to thank him for a lovely time. I know that he was starting a contract this week (maybe today?). Argh, I don't want to be too needy or clingy. I am worried that I got the wrong idea.
I am well aware that I am still dealing with some stuff. (Keto knows, in fact I have been pretty open with the whole group about my situation. Mostly because they all understood the ups and downs of dating someone younger, many of them have been there.)
I am trying not to let self-doubt get to me, because it was a truly lovely evening. I am just trying to be patient and have faith. If nothing else, it was a wonderful experience. That said, I would like to repeat it.
If nothing else, the song choice has been a long time in coming, I've never had a good reason to use it before. (Faith is my character's name at Dickens' and my friend Prue always sings this to me when I am feeling down.)
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