I guess I will start with the basics. I arrived (a bit late, I got lost and traffic). We chatted for a while and then got ready for the party. We talked more on the way down. I knew a number of people who were attending. It was really nice to receive some enthusiastic greetings from people who I haven't seen in a while.
The party went well. There was a wonderfully heated pool. I stayed in until I pruned and then some. It worked out well, because it gave Keto a chance to carry me around the pool and touch in a low stress environment. He was enjoying being someone with a partner as opposed to just being social. Actually, it was amusing, because Keto monopolized me enough that I received three different requests from people the following day, saying that they were sorry to miss me at the party, but I had seemed busy. I am not sure who was more tickled, me or him.
I knew that getting involved with Keto would be challenging, but I don't think I really realized how challenging until Saturday. I don't feel comfortable sharing his personal life, so I will leave it at this. Keto has lived alone, on his mountain, for 30 years. He owns the house outright and while his home is a craftsman paradise, a woman has yet to influence a damn thing about that place. Keto has no sisters and his female friends aren't the nesting type. I have been there twice and I have a list of things I want to do to the place. Hell, I have already offered to take him shopping. (He has recently lost a lot of weight and is still wearing his old clothes.)
Keto may want to have me in his life, but that is a much different dynamic than anyone I have dated in the past few years. As he put it, dating me has been incredibly easy. I just showed up at his house one day (at the party he hosted) and made a place for myself. (Wait, doesn't everyone do this?)
I know that Keto likes me. I know that he likes me a lot. The problem is that he can't offer the sort of assurances and attention I would like to get. He isn't a communicative person. As an example, he went to Southern California to see a couple of friends. I requested that he let me know that he arrived safely, which he did. That's the last I heard from him. I am not surprised, because what else does he have to tell me? He isn't used to the idea of sharing his life with someone. If I want to know something, I can ask. If he has something to ask, he'll contact me.
I know that my needs are valid and that I can ask for them to be addressed and met. I just need to figure out what I actually need and what I am used to. Keto and I have a lot in common, but I have only dated one person who is even somewhat similar. However that person and I exchanged some 800 e-mails in the first three months of our relationship. (don't ask)
I am completely outside of my comfort zone and that's unusual for me.
So today's song is a lot more cheesy than I usually prefer and I am not sure who it applies to more, Keto or me.
No comments:
Post a Comment